MEDITATION 101
- Jun 10, 2015
- 6 min read
Photo by Morgan Brinlee
I first came to meditation in 2012 after a very difficult time in my life. I was really depressed. I had moved back to the US for a summer after spending a year in Cairo – not the easiest place to live. I went through a really challenging breakup, and I had no idea who I was anymore. I couldn't seem to get ahead of my own thoughts. I was always down on myself, thinking that I needed to do and be more. I thought if I just had this job, or more money, or someone who loved me, or a dog, or more clothes, I would feel better. My therapist at the time suggested I try meditation. I laughed out loud, but agreed to give it a try because I was truly desperate. A great spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson, describes these turning points – when everything seems to be going wrong, and you hit rock bottom, but you know there has to be a better way – "dark nights of the soul." This wasn't just one dark night, though. This was a dark, dark period, and I knew I had to get out. My therapist originally referred me to a great Buddhist meditation teacher, Tara Brach, and this talk/guided meditation in particular. I was originally hesitant because I didn't grow up in a religious household, and I was intimidated by the terminology: the Universe, God, intuition, soul, a high power, Buddha, etc. However, I quickly realized that terminology has nothing to do with meditation. It isn't about religion; it is about finding your way home. My first time meditating was tough: I was distracted, I cried a lot and I couldn't seem to focus in the way I thought I should, but I also felt at peace and for the first time in a long time, I knew what it felt like to be at home. I felt myself drawn back into who I truly was, and I realized that my happiness was completely dependent on my internal condition; not on my external circumstances, material wealth or success. I have never looked back.
Purists may try to tell you that meditation can only be done one way: alone in silence while sitting cross legged on the floor. I'm here to tell you that meditation is a feeling and not an act; meaning, as long as you are able to be in stillness, listen to your intuition and take guided action toward the things you want to create in your life, then guess what, you are meditating! Do whatever it takes, in a released way, to calm down those “coulda, shoulda, woulda, have to” thoughts and be in the presence of where you are now. There is no one way, one pose, one place to meditate. Whether you are a beginner or not, here are some tips for meditating that I have picked up along the way:
Silence or No Silence:
Guided meditations – One thing I found helpful when I first started meditating was to use guided meditations. This helps you follow the voice of another, so you have something to focus on that is not your own, often negative, voice in your head. My favorite guided meditations come from Tara Brach and Hay House.
Music – Once you feel comfortable meditating without the guidance of another voice, give your own inner voice a go. I really love meditating to music, as it again gives me something to focus on. Sometimes complete silence can be more distracting than a little background noise. Also, I love listening to uplifting and spiritual music. It can really get you in the mood to relax, go inward and listen to what your highest self has to say.
Click here for a meditation playlist I made to get you started.
Silence – An oldy but a goodie. Try sitting in total silence and seeing what thoughts come up. Be gentle. It's OK and perfectly normal to find yourself distracted. If your mind starts to wander, gently guide it back to center. Listen to what your inner you is saying. Is it encouraging, scared, fearful, loving? Why are certain feelings arising and others staying dormant? Be in the presence of now and lovingly witness your own thoughts. No need for judgement or analysis. Just let things come and go.
Chants and Mantras – It may help to use a chant or mantra that you can say out loud or silently in your head when you find your thoughts drifting off. Some good ones are:
“Ong namo guru dev namo” comes from the Kundalini Yoga and Meditation tradition. It is usually used before the start of meditation to tune-in, and it helps us connect to all the healers, teachers and loved ones who came before us. Other good mantras are: I am the grace of god. Be the light. I am loved. I am safe. Happiness and abundance are my birthright. You can also make up your own mantra or simply say a word that is meaningful to you, like love, peace, joy, light, etc.
To Sit or Not to Sit:
Sitting cross legged on a mat or pillow is the most traditional way of meditating, but you can also sit cross legged on a couch, your bed or chair.
Sitting in a chair with feet on the floor is an option for those who want their feet grounded, and also for those with tight hips that may prevent them from crossing their legs.
Lying down on your back with your eyes closed is also an option. Some people believe sitting is better because it keeps the meditation active, but lying down can be a super relaxing experience that we all need from time-to-time.
No matter which position you choose, traditionally the arms are placed open with the palms facing up, signifying that we are ready to receive all of the guidance that is coming our way. You can also place your hands on your knees, palms down, or press your pointer fingers and thumbs together, again resting your hands on the knees. Also, remember to breathe. Most people are breathing incorrectly and causing themselves shortness of breath. When you breathe, put your hand on your stomach. As you breathe in, your stomach should be pushing out and vice versa, as you breathe out, your stomach should be contracting or going in. You can breathe in and out your nose, or in your nose and out your mouth – whatever is most comfortable for you.
There is also no strict time limit for meditation. Start where you are. If one minute is all you can do, then do that and work toward more. Over time, you will find how easy it is to slip into a meditation and go for 20 minutes or more. One of the reasons I like to use music is, in the beginning, it can help you track time without being hyper focused on it. Commit to meditating for one song, then two, then three, etc.
Where to Meditate:
Meditating is a deeply personal act, but that doesn't mean you need to be alone while practicing. Meditating is possible in different places, and can often be done during other daily routines. Here are a few suggestions:
Especially if you are first starting out, I suggest meditating alone. If you have the room, designate a special space for your meditation. It doesn't have to be it's own room, but take a corner in a room and make that a scared space. I like to meditate in front of an alter or something meaningful to me. My meditation spot has candles, small statues, trinkets from my childhood, crystals and a vision board. Yours can be and have whatever you want, as long as it's uplifting and inspiring to you.
You can also meditate while doing any activity: walking, while on the bus, cooking or sitting in the park. Just close your eyes and see what comes up.
You may want to try group meditation as a way of keeping you accountable and in a community. There are group yoga and meditation classes at both Yoga Sala and Cihangir Yoga, respectively. They also have workshops dedicated solely to the practice of meditation.
Lastly, check out the video below for a simple tool to use whenever you are taken out of your peace and pushed into stress, anxiety or anger:
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